Funny Fridays

I know that somewhere deep down inside, I have tons of funny stories to tell. However, today I am kind of restless and cannot follow through on my thoughts. This means that my story might look like:
So this one time I like/I like LO-OVE to dance/he said it was the worst thing ever/My mom once wore/SUCK IT!
Let's be honest....that would not make for a good story, so instead, I have some pet peeves and some rules that I feel the need to share.

Pet peeves:
1) Know-it alls - really, you think you know EVERYTHING, that's highly unlikely!
2) When people drive like butt munches and then they give YOU the finger - so you didn't noticed you're the one driving like an ASS and just because I didn't get out of your way as you tried blowing passed me at 70, I'm the bad guy???
3) People that sneeze like this - HA-A-CHEEEWIE (and place the emphasis on the CHEEEWIE) - Really, is that necessary???
4) Retail stores that actually believe big people WANT to wear floral so 90% of their clothes have flower patterns on them - fat people like SOLID colors TOO!!!
5) People that are moody - is it that hard to have one personality and role with it?
6) People that get on the elevator and only go up or down one floor - although, I can sympathize with this one because:
Rule #1 - there should be a law against having to climb UP stairs prior to 10am...the going down one floor is just plain lazy
Rule #2 - wear nice clothes that are presentable and suit the style of where you are. I don't care what your size is, there is NO reason for anyone to still have 'stuff' hanging out after putting clothes on (insert pet peeve - muffin tops - why buy pants that are too small and cause you to have a muffin top. It just does NOT make sense). If I can way a ba-zillion pounds and still dress nice, so can YOU!
3) Everyone should have so many days in the year that they have to live in another person's shoes that is the complete opposite of themselves
4) And finally, LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE!

Happy TGIF everyone. :)